Chicago University
by trisgracefray
Summary: Hoping to escape her past, Tris Prior starts her freshman year of college at Chicago University- 721 miles away from home. But what happens when her haunting former life collides with her new one? Fourtris. Rated T/mild M
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my third fanfic and i hope you enjoy! **

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><p>I'm standing on a chair putting up one of my posters when I hear a knock on the door. I just moved into the Dauntless Dorm at Chicago University. My roommate, Christina, is supposed to be back with coffee any minute now. I put the last pin in the wall and open it.<p>

"Tris!" the voice says. I freeze, my hand still firmly grasping the knob. _This cannot be happening. This _cannot_ be happening. _"Mind if I come in? I was downstairs and someone was talking about how a hot blonde just moved in from North Carolina. And I thought, 'what are the chances?'" he says it casually, like we're best friends.

I don't respond. He takes it as an invitation inside.

"Nice set-up you got here. Although, you know I hate Artic Monkeys." He motions to the poster I just finished hanging.

I regain my senses when he takes a step to me. "Peter. Get out."

He pouts his lower lip playfully. "Tris baby," I clench my jaw at the nickname. "I missed you."

I open my mouth to respond but another knock on my door interrupts me. I look over my shoulder. A boy, handsome with dark eyes, stands expectantly by the wall. "Peter. C'mon, I gotta be at the registration table in ten minutes."

"Four," he motions the guy inside. I keep my head down. "This is that bitch I was telling you about. The one that cheated on me in high school."

I drop my jaw. _What?_ "I told you to get out." I say sternly.

"Shit man," The boy, Four, says. "You weren't kidding about the bitchy attitude." He chuckles.

Peter takes a step toward me and grabs my wrist. His palms are sweaty and his nails have layers of dirt underneath them. I yank my arm back hastily. "_Do not_ touch me. I told you to get out, so _get the fuck out_ of my room."

"Watch your mouth, bitch." He whispers.

I feel Four's eyes on us. "Peter. Lets go."

They walk into the hall and I slam the door, locking it quickly. I was just trying to get away. For once in my life, I wanted to escape everything.

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><p><strong>Most chapters will be longer than that! Tell me what you think!<strong>

**R&R&R&R**

**-Riley**


	2. Chapter 2

**sup fam**

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><p>When I was fifteen, my parents died in a car accident. Basically, I went into a depression and the only reason I didn't kill myself is because of three things: music, books and my brother, Caleb. It sounds so cliché and stupid but its how I coped. I honestly do not know where I would be without the two.<p>

To get my mind off things, I go for a walk on campus. I heard there is a pretty cool radio station down the block. I need a job anyway.

I find a worn-out shop looking building labeled _99.8 The New Buzz_ and enter. A bell chimes and someone shouts from the back of the room, "Just leave the package at the door, I'll get it later!"

I look around awkwardly, fixing the strap of my bag. "Um… I don't have a package. I was actually wondering if –"

I hear footsteps growing louder until I'm facing a muscular, brown-eyed guy. He pushes his hair out of his eyes and grins with amusement. "What the fuck do you want?"

My eyes widen at his bluntness. "I was wondering if you were hiring. I guess not." I start to back out the door.

"Oh!" he says. "Sorry. Nobody ever comes in here… at all. I'm Uriah and I run this place with my brother." I shake his out-stretched hand.

"Tris."

He smiles. "So you want a job?" he asks.

I nod.

"I warn you, it's pretty uneventful here."

I smile tightly, "That's perfect."

"You seem pretty cool. What kind of music do you like?" he asks.

I shrug. "I kind of listen to everything… except country. God no."

He smiles again. "I like you already. No but for real, who do you listen to? Name some of your favorite artists and bands."

I laugh and put my bag down at my feet. "Um... Marina and the Diamonds, Lana Del Rey, Lorde."

He grins, nodding his head.

"Artic Monkeys, Coldplay, Bastille."

"Jesus Christ," he says. "When can you start?"

I beam, "Are you serious?"

"Hell yeah. You have great taste. If you want, you can work five to seven on weekdays. Does that work?"

I nod. "Yeah that's great!" I pick up my bag off the ground. "See ya tomorrow!" I open the door to leave.

"Oh there's one other kid that works here. He's a sophomore at Chicago. You go there right?" he eyes the sweatshirt I'm wearing.

"Oh cool! And yeah I do. Just moved in today. Bye Uriah!" I call, closing the door behind me.

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><p>"I can't believe you got a job at that stupid radio station." Christina says. We only met eight hours ago and she's already judging me on my career choices.<p>

I take bite of my food. We ordered take-out since the cafeteria isn't open yet. "You work at a nail salon." I say to her. "Ewe."

"Fair enough." She stands, walks over to my desk, and picks up a picture of my brother and I. "who's this?"

"My brother, Caleb."

"Are you close?" she asks.

I shrug. "Used to be."

She looks over at me, but doesn't press it any further. I am grateful. "So are you single?" she asks.

I laugh and raise an eyebrow. "Sorry, but I'm not interested."

It takes her a second before she slaps my arm. "Oh my god that is _so_ not what I meant."

I smile and throw my container away. "But yeah. I'm single."

"There was this dude in the lobby talking about you. He said you guys dated all through high school. Is that true?"

I tense; every muscle in me tightens around my bones. "Oh Peter?" my voice wavers a little. I don't think she notices. "Yeah. We did. But we broke up last year because he graduated." I lie through my teeth. I wish it were that simple.

"So he's a year older than you?" she asks.

I nod.

"Cool." She says awkwardly. "I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight Tris."

"Night."

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><p>"Dude I know that we don't need anybody else here, but she's so hot and… just give her a chance. All right?"<p>

I make my to the back of the station. When round the corner Uriah and another boy are organizing cds.

I clear my throat and they both turn around. _Oh my god._

"There she is!" Uriah walks over to me. "Tris, this is Four- the guy I was telling you about. And Four this is Tris!"

I clench my fists at my sides. "We've met."

"Great! I gotta go. Zeke needs help with something at home." Uriah says. "Four, show her around will ya?" I hear the door shut seconds later.

"Small world." He smiles at me.

I walk away. Moving here was to get away from Peter. Not surround myself with everything that is related to.

"Hey." He walks over to me. "What's your problem?"

"My problem?"

"Yeah. You have a problem. What is it?"

I shake my head. "Can you just go away?"

"Look Tris, I know you and Peter –"

I turn around and stare at him. "You don't know the first thing about Peter and I. What happened between us and what he is telling everyone are two totally different things. Either figure out the truth or mind your damn business."

He purses his lips. "I don't think you cheated on him."

I nod. "I didn't. That's not even why we broke up."

He puts a hand on my shoulder. I stiffen. "I'm having a back to school party on Friday. You should come."

I bite my bottom lip and turn around. "Why would I come?"

"I don't know." He says. "You seem like you don't get out much."

"That's because I don't." I mumble.

"Just come. Please."

"Is he going to be there?" I ask. "Because I'm not coming if he is. Peter and alcohol are not a very good combination."

"Tris," he says, meeting my eyes. "Why did you come here if you knew he was here?"

I shake my head. "This is what I mean. You don't know what you're talking about. He told me he went to Virginia Tech. This is my dream school, asshole."

He drops his gaze and turns the other cd rack. "You don't have to come. To my party I mean."

"I know. And I'm not coming."

He faces me again. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Why? Why do you care?"

"Come for an hour. If you're not having fun you can leave. I can keep Peter away from you. You won't have to deal with him."

I smile in spite of myself. "Fine."

He smiles too. "Thank you."

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><p><strong>peace<strong>

**R&R&R&R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**howdy**

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><p>I walk up the steps of the house that Four gave me directions to. I hate parties more than words can describe and this is the first one I have been to since junior year. And to top it off, he is a frat boy. Why didn't he tell me that? I thought he shared a dorm with Peter. Oh god… <em>Peter<em>. I feel bile form in my stomach and I knock on the door.

It swings open and Four grins at me. "You made it! Come in." He motions me inside and I walk through. "Do you want a drink?"

I shake my head, "Oh, I don't– "

He pours a brown liquid into a cup and hands it to me. "I insist." I can tell he's a little drunk. His words are slurred and there's a wild look in his eye.

I take a sip, cringing as it slides down my throat. "That's horrible."

He laughs and drinks some of his own. "Yeah. It kind of taste like piss but it gets better."

I smile too. But then I remember where I am and I frown again. "You didn't tell me you were part of fraternity." I look around uneasily.

"Oh. Was I supposed to?" he asks.

I pinch my lips together. "It could have been some vital information."

He smiles to himself while I look around anxiously, becoming very self-conscious of what I'm wearing. Every girl here is in a mini skirt or a crop top… or both. I'm in jeans and my leather jacket. I might as well write 'FRESHMAN' on my forehead.

He must notice that I'm uncomfortable because he leans down and whispers in my ear, "You look good, Tris."

My cheeks redden and I look at my shoes. I hear him walk away.

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><p>The beer was easier to drink than I thought it would be. After the first few sips, it went down smoothly. I feel lighter too, now that I'm on my third one. Or maybe I'm just drunk.<p>

I walk to a corner and lean on it, finding it hard to stand. That's when I feel a hand grab me. I spin around and bite the inside of my cheek._ You promised Four. You promised you'd keep him away…_

_"_Lookin' good, Stiff." He shouts loudly. His words slosh out of his mouth and his breath smell like stale beer.

I don't respond and try to walk away. He snatches my arm, fingernails digging in to my skin. I muffle the cry of pain by putting my other hand over my mouth.

"Uh uh, Tris baby." Peter chides. "C'mere." I feel his arms pulling me to him and try to push myself away. It's all in vain, of course. I'm too drunk and he could take over me with one pinky finger if he tried.

As soon as his hand grabs my ass I hear a voice. "Peter, what are you doing?" It asks casually. I look up. Four's blue eyes meet mine.

Peter pulls away and grins. "Having some fun. Wanna join?"

"No." Four says sternly. "I don't think Tris does either."

Peter rolls his eyes. "Oh, this bitch? She's down for anything, anywhere, anytime. Aren't ya, Stiff?"

I eye him wearily. "Let go of me."

His eyes meet mine and my nerves stand on end. The last time he looked at me like that…

"Fine." Peter says, glaring at Four. Then he brings is mouth to my ear, "I forgot how fat you were, bitch."

I push him off and stumble away, a tear sliding down my cheek.

I make it outside the house before he calls after me. "Tris!"

I look back. Four is running to catch up to me. "Oh my god." I breathe. "What do you want?"

He meets me, standing a foot away. "He was horrible to you, wasn't he?"

I try to laugh but it turns into a sob. "Don't…"

He shifts from one foot to the other, "Tris- "

I shake my head and wipe the water off my cheeks. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Then we won't." he says. "Let me walk you home."

"I'm fine." I whisper, walking away again. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I want to go to my dorm and cry myself to sleep. I'm tired of Peter. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I'm tired of this giant void of sadness that eats me alive. "I can handle myself, thank you."

"I don't doubt it." He calls. I turn around and face him. He's smiling. "Let's go get some coffee. Clear your head."

I smile, my mind buzzing. And I don't think it's from the alcohol. "I don't even like coffee."

He grins, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. "Who does?"

"You're really persistent," I say flatly. "It's annoying."

"Is that a yes?" he takes a step toward me. I back up.

I nod slightly. He smiles…. _Again_.

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><p>I sit down in a booth across from him. He orders two black coffees. I take a sip… "It's almost as bad as the beer you gave me."<p>

He laughs and I bite my lip. I've never really taken the time to notice how attractive he is. His eyes are dark blue and his nose hooks perfectly and he's charismatic and he's charming. I would find myself falling for him if it wasn't for fucking Peter ruining relationships for me for the rest of my life.

"He always calls you a bitch." Four whispers.

"Always has."

"I'm sorry." He takes another sip of his coffee.

"Yeah." I murmur. "Me too."

He eyes my wrist and reaches for it. His fingers are rough. "You're bleeding."

I snatch my arm back and take a look. It's where Peter's nails dug into me. "It's nothing, I probably scratched it on something– "

He shakes his head. "I'm not stupid, Tris."

"No." I stand up. "You're not. But stop trying to figure everything out, I don't want you too."

"Tris- "

"I'm going home. I'll see you Monday." I say, walking out the door.

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><p><strong>I LOVE TRIS AND I LOVE HER EVEN MORE WHEN SHE TELLS BOYS TO FUCK OFF <strong>

**R&R&R&R**

**-Riley**


	4. Chapter 4

**ayyyyeee**

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><p>I wake to a beeping beside my bed. I look to my right and the numbers on my alarm read ten o' clock. <em>Shit.<em> My first class- creative writing, is at ten fifteen and it's all the way across campus. I roll of my mattress and tie my hair into a bun. I leave my dorm in sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt. If my mom could see me now she'd laugh.

I make it to my class with five minutes to spare. I find an empty seat next to a blond haired kid. "Hi." He says.

I exhale, exhausted from sprinting thru the school grounds. "Hi."

"Did you get chased by a robber on the way here?" he asks.

I'm about to say something about his bedhead when I realize he's joking. "Oh. I woke up late." I laugh a little, looking down at my outfit.

He smiles too, extending his hand. "I'm Will."

"Tris."

"Are you a freshman?" he asks. "Because I heard there is only like five in here, including me. The rest are upperclassmen."

"Yeah, I am. Is this an advanced course or something?"

I can tell this kid is smart. Like super-freaky, genius intelligent. The kind of smart that reads everything from city maps to instruction manuals for the hell of it. It isn't until his green eyes flash over my textbook that I realize how I know this. He reminds me of Caleb. "No." He chuckles. "Nobody in their right mind wants to have an essay every night. That's basically what this class is."

I shrug. "I like to write but I don't want to be an author. Does that make any sense?"

He nods. "Sort-of. Not really."

I smile, looking up from my desk when I hear a clicking of heels in the front of the room. The professor starts lecturing.

When she dismisses the class I gather my books and stand. I'm about to leave the room when Will calls my name. "Tris!"

I spin around, trying to force a smile on my lips. I usually can't conjure one. That might be why I don't have many friends back home. "Hey."

We walk out the door together and he steers me to the side. "I was wondering if…" he hesitates, brushing a hand through his hair nervously. "I was wondering if you want to go see a movie or something later?"

My eyes widen and I chew the inside of my cheek. I do not want to go on a date with this kid. I can't picture myself doing it for starters. The only kind I have ever been on is when Peter took me to some trashy diner that's been around since 1940. I'm about to say no thank you. That I'm not looking for a relationship right now, when I remember something Caleb told me to do if I wanted a guy to stop hitting on me. "I'm gay."

He opens his mouth in shock. I stifle a laugh. _I cannot believe I just did that. _"Oh." He says. "My bad."

I take a step away from him. "See you later then."

"See you." He says distantly. I turn around and walk away, laughing to myself.

I walk back to my dorm smiling. I can feel myself becoming tougher. When I was in high school, I didn't know how to say no. I was desperate for the approval of others. I would find myself in uncomfortable situations and doing things that I didn't want to do. And when my parents died, it only got worse. I became an empty ball of nothing. Then Peter came and showed me the slightest bit of interest. Looking back at it now, he wasn't even nice to me in the beginning. Yeah, he didn't beat me up like he did in later years, but he still treated me like shit. And I took it. I didn't want to lose him for some reason. I knew that if I lost Peter, I would have to face the crushing reality that my life sucks and the only person I had left was Caleb. Peter was a distraction. I hate myself for not realizing it sooner.

But I know what I want in my life now. I want my education and a job and I want to find happiness somehow. I don't need a boy or a giant group of friends to do that for me anymore. Four years ago, I would have gone on that date with Will. Not because I liked him or because I wanted too. I would have gone for him, to make him like me. But I'm tired of doing things that I don't want to do for the sake of other people's happiness. I won't do it anymore.

I find my room easily and open the door. I have a few minutes before I need to go to work so I decide to change. I throw on some leggings and my leather jacket. It's still August but I don't remember the last time I wore something that exposes my entire arm. _Thanks Peter._

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><p>When I reach the station and I walk in. I hear Uriah's voice in the back. "Tris! C'mere I need help with something."<p>

I make my way to him and lean on the wall when I get there. "Yeah?"

He spins around and then frowns. "Shit. I thought you were taller. Where's Four when you need him?"

I quirk an eyebrow - or I try to. I've never been able. "What do you need?"

He sighs, looking up at one of the shelves among many others. "I need that box."

As if on cue, the bell from the front door chimes and Four makes his way to the back. I avoid his eyes. I don't know how I'm supposed to talk to him at this point.

"Can you reach that box up there?" Uriah asks. "Tris and I are too short."

He laughs a little but obliges. "Here ya go Uri." He says, placing the box down at his feet. His eyes meet mine. "Tris."

I give a tight smile and head back to the front room. I start picking up random albums and examining them idly, anything to keep my mind off of Friday night.

It must be thirty minutes before he finally approaches me. "Tris."

I don't look up from the record I'm holding. "Yeah?"

"I talked to Peter." He says flatly.

I spin around, facing him. Why does he always feel the need to nose his way into my business? "You _what_?"

"I talked to him about Friday. You were so upset... and I thought I'd smack some sense into him." He smirks. "Technically punch but that's not how the saying goes."

I feel my lips pull into a smile. "Wait you _punched_ him? Oh my god." I laugh and grin up at him. He seems relieved that I'm not upset. I want to be but I can't. I feel gratitude spread through my stomach. "Thank you."

He nods, turning to the shelf of records. "Don't worry about it."

I purse my lips, remembering the coffee shop. "I still want you to stop prying into everything, Four."

"I know. I won't do it anymore, okay?" He chews his lip and suddenly I feel a rush of warmth run through me. He cares about me. He sincerely cares about my well-being. "But if you ever want to talk about it…"

My cheeks redden and I look at my shoes. "Thanks. But I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon. You should know that I'm an extremely closed off person."

He furrows his eyebrows and faces me. "You're not the only one with baggage, Tris."

My bottom lip wobbles. Why am I about to cry? I don't understand. I want to smack him across the face for being insensitive but at the same time I want to thank him for making me understand something that I've never thought about before. He has a whole life behind him that I don't know anything about. It's selfish of me to not even think about what he, or anyone else, has gone through. I turn to him. "Do you think we could try again?" I ask shyly. "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

I see him grin as he puts another album on the shelf. "The party or the coffee?"

"The coffee." I smile. "No offence, but that was the worst party I've ever been to."

He looks at me with a smug grin. "I'd love to. We can go after work?"

"Okay." My cheeks are hot. I feel like such an idiot right now. "Yeah."

"Okay." He bites his lip. "Or we could go now."

"Now?" I ask, "Uriah won't care?"

"Nah. C'mon."

"Okay."

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><p><strong>So I gave a bit of the PeterTris situation away even though you guys have probably figured it out.**

**R&R&R&R&R&R**

**-Riley**


	5. Chapter 5

**So nothing of major importance here, but i really, _really_ love this chapter.**

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><p>"So tell me about you." He asks, sitting down at the same booth we sat at Friday night.<p>

I shake my head, smiling. "You promised you'd stop prying, Four."

He puts his hands up defensively. "I'm just asking what you like to do or your favorite animal or _something_." He laughs.

I raise my eyebrows, looking at him in the eye. "My favorite animal?"

"Yes."

I think about it for a second. What is my favorite animal? I think about my mom, how graceful she was. I think about how I ran away from everything so easily. "A bird. Definitely." I whisper.

The corners of his mouth tug upward. "Why?"

I roll my eyes and rest my chin on my hand. "First of all, they can fucking _fly_." He laughs and motions me to continue. "And I like… I don't know." I pause. "How do I say this? They can do anything and go anywhere they want. They're free."

I drop my gaze to my lap. I can feel his eyes on me and my cheeks redden. I don't know why I told him that. That's the most I've ever opened up to anyone in ages. "Mine isn't nearly that deep." He says.

I glance up. He's expression is thoughtful. "What is it?" I ask.

"A bear."

I grin, "A bear? Why?'

He shrugs. "They are pretty cool... and I guess I like what they represent. I took this psychology class last year and I found out what they symbolize."

I look at him expectantly. "What's that?"

He puts his fingers in quotations. "The warrior spirit and the will to fight. It's stupid, I know. But I feel like everyone should have that courage. You know?"

I nod. "Yeah, I get it. But hey," I smirk, "that was pretty deep."

He smiles. "You think so?"

I shrug. "I mean, not as meaningful and inspiring as mine, but it will do."

He grins, "So what's your favorite band of all time in the history of bands?"

I laugh. "Oh god, _m_y _favorite band in the history of bands_? How am I going to decide this? Like seriously this is so hard- Artic Monkeys."

He shakes his head and keeps grinning. He is so gorgeous. I can't stop myself from staring at him. "Why?"

"Peter hates them."

He nods, smiling to himself. "The more you talk about him the more I realize that he is a horrible person."

I laugh. "Why? Because he hates Artic Monkeys?"

"Exactly." He chuckles. "Its weird to think that I would have taken a bullet for him not two weeks ago. Now I might be the one to pull the trigger."

My shake my head in humor. "You're not going to shoot him, are you?"

"No." he says. "But he was one of my best friends, you know? It's a strange feeling."

"I still haven't told you what he did. You act like you know." I mumble.

He purses his lips and stares at me. His blue eyes are strong and insistent. I feel my pulse quicken. "No. But it's not that hard to guess, Tris."

I look away. I could bolt again, yell at him and walk out the door. That's what I always do, that's what I always have done when Peter became the topic of conversation. Everything in me is screaming to not let Four in, to stop whatever this is right now and push him away. "You don't understand…"

"Tris." He says steadily. "Look at me."

I do.

"I told you, I want to know. But I don't want to know if you're not ready to tell me."

I bite my lip and stand up. "It's getting late."

He stands too, putting a five on the table, even though we didn't eat anything. "I'll walk you home."

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><p>"But in all seriousness, Tris… what's your last name?" We are my dorm room door. He tried to give me his jacket on the way here and despite my protest, it's resting on my shoulders.<p>

I grin. "Prior."

"In all seriousness, Tris _Prior_, you're pretty cool." His cheeks turn a shade of red. I feel warmth spread through my stomach. _Older hot dude thinks I'm cool hell yeah!_

"Thanks." I look at my shoes. "So I have a question for _you_."

He quirks an eyebrow, "I thought we agreed on no prying."

I smirk. "Honestly Four, my last name is _Pri_or. What do you expect? And you don't have to answer, I'm just seeing if you will."

"Touché. So what is it?"

"What's you're real name? I know you're parents couldn't be horrible enough to give you a number for a name."

He looks to the other side of the hallway and scoffs. "You'd be surprised."

I'm about to ask him what he means when it all clicks. _"You're not the only one with baggage, Tris." _He's been there. He will understand if I tell him. I just can't bring myself to open up when I've been pushing everything down for so long. "So you're not telling me?"

"No. Sorry."

I nod. "I get it." I slide his jacket off my shoulders. It's filled with his scent and I have an instant wish he'd let me keep it. "Here"

I don't want to do anything stupid, I have a natural tendency for that. "Goodnight, Four." I try to open the door, but it's locked. _Oh, I'm so awkward. _I rummage through my bag and I can't find the key. And he's still standing there. "I think I lost my key-"

"Tris." He says.

"Look, I might not be able to get into my dorm and my roommate is usually out late so can you please just –"

"Tris." He says again, a little louder this time. He's laughing at me though. Of course he is. I turn my head. "You left it on the table at the coffee place. Here"

I look at him with a smile of relief and a frown of embarrassment. It probably looks like a pout. I take it anyway and unlock the door. My cheeks are flushed and I feel his gaze on me.

He must sense my humiliation because he takes a step to me and kisses my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight." I hear him laugh again as his footsteps become distant. I don't enter my room until he's gone. But I can't hide the grin on my lips as I lie down on my bed and bury my face in my pillow.

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><p><strong>I won't be able to update this weekend and i am sosososo sorry! <strong>

_**PLEASE REVEIW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE**_

**-Riley**


	6. Chapter 6

**AYEEE YA GIRL GOT HER PERMIT TODAY YEET**

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><p>The past week flew by. It's Friday afternoon and I'm sitting at the same coffee shop with Four like every other day. Its normal; a routine. And I hate to admit it, but he has become a constant. I go to class, I go to work, we go get coffee, and he walks me to my dorm. I like spending time with him. He understands my limits and respects them. I like talking to him. He's funny and smart and has dreams and goals. I like <em>being<em> with him. I have denied it for the past two weeks, but the feeling has grown. I like him. A lot. But I can't be with him, there is a barrier inside me that blocks me from relationships. i have too. Who knows when the next Peter will come along?

"Do you want to play a game?" he asks me.

I look up from my coffee and raise my eyebrows. "A game? Oh god, are you _Saw_?"

He laughs but his eyes meet mine solemnly. "No. Hear me out, okay?"

I nod. "Okay…"

He runs a hand through his hair. "So I know that you don't want me digging or whatever but I want to get to know you more and I know that your life sucked pretty bad and so did mine and…" he pauses. I bite my lip. "Let's play a game on who had the worst childhood. I'll start."

I smile in spite of myself. "On what planet is this a _fun _game?"

He chuckles. "I never said that it was fun."

I roll my eyes. "Okay then. Go."

"My mom died when I was six." He locks his eyes on mine and I immediately hate this game.

"My mom died when I was fifteen. On my birthday." I chew my lip uncomfortably.

He continues this easy-going charade but I can tell that he is about to say something that disturbs him immensely. He clenches his jaw. "My dad is a grade A asshole and I hate his fucking guts."

"My dad's dead." I say flatly, looking at my empty mug. "And this game sucks."

I can feel his gaze burning into me. I won't look at him. I _can't_ look at him. "Yeah… it does. But you won."

"Can you walk me home?" I ask, still not looking at him. Why did I tell him all of that? Why do I tell him anything? He wants to know but I don't want to tell him. But I feel this need inside of me to let everything out. Everything that I have bottled up over these past years feels like it could escape effortlessly with him. I don't want to tell him. But I feel the need too.

He stands and to my surprise, takes my hand. I grin to myself with bubbly giddiness. And then I realize how sweaty my palms are and how my nail aren't done and how the skin isn't smooth. I pull away. I see him sneak a glance at me but we keep still go out the door.

The walk back to my dorm is silent and awkward. He's not awkward. I am. I struggle to not trip over my own feet while he moves with grace and certainty. He glows. His current is magnetic and I can feel myself being sucked in.

But despite it all, my endless clumsiness and limitless refusal, he is still trying. He will not leave me alone. He laughs at my jokes and touches the small of my back when we walk. Like right now. My spine is tingling with his contact on it.

"Tris." he says, leaning against the wall while I unlock my door.

I look at him. He is so beautiful. "Four."

There is a smirk planted on his face and he takes a step toward me. My chest is inches from his. It wouldn't be, though, if he weren't leaning down, resting his elbow on the wall above my head. He has to be at least six foot. I feel his breath on my cheek. My nerves are standing on edge. "I realized something yesterday."

I can feel the grin on my face. He isn't even touching me but the warmth he generates is spreading through my stomach. "And that is?"

"I think about you all the time. I cannot stop, and... it's driving me insane. So I came to the conclusion that it's probably because I like you." His cheeks flush slightly but his eyes continue to burn into mine.

I stand up straighter, rolling my eyes with an amused laugh. It's so ridiculous. "_Why_?"

His smirk grows into a large grin and he rests a hand on my hip. I suck in a breath. "Goddamn it, Tris." He slams his mouth to mine sloppily. _Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. _

I don't do anything. I don't move. I don't close my eyes. I don't lean into him. He's kissing me. _What the hell_? I should probably pull away or slap him or something, but he feels so good and there is a yearning for him in every part of me. So I don't think. I close my eyes, wrap one arm around his neck, open my door, and walk backwards with his lips on mine. He moves in a rhythm. I don't know what to do with my hands so I tangle them in his hair. He groans. Butterflies. They are everywhere. In my stomach and fluttering in my toes.

He is so strong. His lips are delicate but his hands are callused and rough. It's a knee weakening combination. Eventually, we've run out of floor to walk on so he locks me in against the wall. I sigh quietly on his mouth. His hand grips the skin of my hip with a burning sensation. This is wrong. So, so, _so _wrong. I push him away abruptly. "What are you doing? My voice is soft and raspy, like a whisper. What are _we _doing?"

His eyes are a vibrant dark blue, like the sky before a storm. "I… I don't know." He stutters. "Why did you kiss me back like that?"

"Why did you kiss me at all?" I yell. I walk away from him and lean on my bed. I want to punch him and hug him all at the same time. I've been living with nothing. No feelings at all. I didn't think I would be able feel again. I've been so numb to everything since my parents. But that… _oh my god_.

"Tris-" he starts.

"You should go." I whisper, looking at my shoes.

"Okay." I feel him look at me as his footsteps reach the door. My stomach drops. _I don't actually want him to leave._

The door closes, slams actually, and I sit on my mattress. I have fallen face first for him and it's an unsettling feeling. I don't even go under the blankets to sleep. I just lay there, completely conflicted.

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><p>I wake to a shaking of my shoulder. I groan and open my eyes. "Tris." Christina says, "There's is some guy asleep outside the door and I would tell him to fuck off but he's so hot I don't know how to deal with it… Help."<p>

I frown, that stupid, blue-eyed, hot ass motherfucker. "Hold on." I walk to the door and swing it open. "Four…"

He grumbles but doesn't wake. I squat down in front of him. "Four wake up."

His eyes flutter open and he grins lazily. "Hello, Tris." His voice is low and groggy and I feel my insides twist. Hot boy. Morning voice. Waiting outside your dorm all night. God help me.

"Why are you here?" I ask, sitting down beside him. Its casual, but I can't lie that every nerve in me is alive with the contact of him. "I told you to leave."

"I did leave… the room." He smirks, meeting my eyes.

I have never wanted to kiss someone so much in my life. So I do. I touch his cheek and bring our lips together. He smiles and pulls me closer to him. My breath probably smells horrid, and I'm aware that I haven't showered since yesterday morning, but I don't care. He pulls away, grinning at me. "You can't kick me out of the hallway."

I shake my head, "I don't want to."

"Oh…" I hear a voice behind me, "that explains tons."

I turn around and stand, "Chris uh…"

She smiles at me, "No, I'll leave you two. Bye!" she slams the door. I roll my eyes.

Four stands too, "Coffee?"

I nod. "Please."

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><p><strong>super aware of how much this chapter sucks so..<strong>

**R&R&R&R**

**-Riley **

**PS MY BIRTHDAY WAS SUNDAY IM FIFTEEN NOW BITCHES **


	7. Chapter 7

**hello fellow allegiant burn-outs**

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><p>"Tris!" someone yells, I turn around. It's Four. "Wait up!"<p>

I stop and give him a tight smile when he approaches me. I haven't spoken to him in a few days because he hasn't been at the station. And he hasn't called. Or texted. I know that we aren't officially dating or anything, but he said he liked me and he hasn't tried to contact me since the encounter. I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up; he's older and _so_ out of my league.

"Hi." I try to say lightly. It doesn't work, though. Even I can hear the bitterness in my voice.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Are you mad? What's wrong?"

I'm glad he's walking beside me and can't see my face, because I purse my lips. _Yeah, now that I think about it, I am mad, very mad actually_. _You tell me you like me, kiss me, wait outside my dorm for a whole night, and then don't talk to me for five days. _"I'm fine."

"Tris…" he says, "Are you sure? You're acting weird."

I shrug my shoulders, I want to punch him the face so bad. "I told you, I'm fine. I have to get to class, so I'll see you… whenever you decide to go to work."

"Wait!" He grabs my hand. I clench my jaw in frustration. I really do have to get to class. "Is this about last week? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to not call, I've just been so wrapped up in school and some family things came up."

"Okay." I say, removing my hand from his. I sound bored. I guess it's better than sounding how I actually feel. Heartbroken. I know I've only known him for a few weeks, but I _really_ like him. And it sucks, him being an asshole and all.

"Uriah, Zeke and I are going out for a few beers later today, do you want to come?" he asks. His eyes meet mine.

"No." I really don't want to go. I feel like he's asking because he's supposed too, not because he actually wants me to come. "I mean you should just go. I'm eighteen anyway. I can't get into a bar even if I tried."

"I really want you to come. I know I've been a major dick these past few days and I'm really sorry. Please come." He pleads.

I shake my head. "I'm good. I'll see you later." I say, turning my back to him. That wasn't as satisfying as punching him, but it will suffice. I feel a smile on my lips. Telling a boy no almost feels as good as kissing one. Almost.

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><p>Four hours later, I'm sitting on my bed, working on one of my writing assignments when I hear a knock on my door. I throw on some sweatpants and open it.<p>

My stomach plummets into the ground. I open my mouth to speak, to scream, to say something. There is silence. He storms in, slamming the door with his heel. I am frozen with terror. "W- what are you doing?" I stutter.

He marches toward me, wrapping a hand around my throat. "You're doing Four now? Honestly, Tris. I didn't think you had it in you, to bang my best friend." His hand tightens around my esophagus and I choke. I can't breathe. I can feel the pulsing of blood in my ears. "You know what? I think you miss me. You want me back but you know that I'd never date a slut like you again, so you had to settle for the next best thing. How about I show you what you're missing."

I claw at his hand with a chaotic effort. My head feels like it's going to explode. I cannot breathe. I try to wheeze in some air. He slams my head against the wall. And then he lets go, I gasp. "Peter..." I breathe again. "Please." My voice is hoarse.

He forces me backwards and I land on my bed. He unbuckles his belt and it abruptly hits me what is happening. I scream. Loud. It's ear piercing. Someone should hear me. _Please_.

My shirt is being slid over my shoulders. In this moment, I wish I had said yes to Four. I should have gone to the stupid bar with his stupid friends and I would be falling for him stupidly instead of this. I could have avoided this. A tear slides down my cheek.

My eyes open suddenly. I bolt upright. Oh god. Just a dream, it was just a fucking dream. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and stand. My hands are shaking. So are my knees. My brother was right. Last year, he told me that I should go to a therapist. I didn't listen. I didn't think it would help. I regret it all now. I miss Caleb so much it hurts.

I'm hurled away from my thoughts when my phone vibrates. It's a message from Four.

_I'm on my way to your dorm with pizza and coffee. _

I smile lightly. _What happened to Zeke and Uriah? _I reply.

My phone buzzes again. _They brought dates. I didn't have one. Well she rejected me. Open the door, Prior._

I scurry to the door and open it. He's there. Holding a box of pizza and two cups of coffee. I grin at him. "I also brought movies." He holds up _Aladdin_ and _Mulan._

I shake my head and smile. "Come in." I motion him inside and we sit on my bed. I don't mean to be suggestive, but other than my desk, the bed is the only place to sit. He must understand, because he turns the light off, hands me a slice of pizza and plops down beside me. I open my laptop and put in _Mulan. _

"Tris." He whispers. I look up at him. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "Its no big deal." I lie. "I get it, you're busy and… it didn't really mean anything, anyway."

He purses his lips and furrows his eyebrows. "Didn't mean anything? What does that mean?"

I take a bite of my pizza and shrug. "Forget it. It's not important."

"Hey." He says. His voice is low and thoughtful. I meet his eyes in the dark. "It's important if it matters to you, Tris."

I feel the irritation from this afternoon return. "I guess I just wanted you to call or text or something. You told me you liked me and then you don't call for five days. It's just confusing. And frustrating."

He bites the inside of his cheek and pulls me closer to him swiftly. I don't realize that it happened until my hip is touching his. "I'm not used to this." He whispers. "All of my relationships have been…what's the word? Physical. I've never really had to commit." He touches my cheek, pulling my face closer to his. "I like you, a lot, Tris. You should know that."

I turn away from him, cheeks hot. "I don't get it. I'm younger, I'm not pretty, and I… I don't understand."

I feel his eyes on me. "Don't be an idiot, Tris."

I glare at him. "I'm not being an idiot. In case you didn't realize, the last boyfriend I had beat the shit out of me and called me a fat bitch everyday."

His face softens and he cups my cheek in his hands. I feel tears brimming my eyes. They fall down my skin slowly. His hand is cool as he tucks a stray hair behind my ear. "That's not what I meant." He whispers.

I furrow my eyebrows. "What did you mean?"

His face inches toward mine. "What I mean is…" there's a smirk on his face. His nose touches mine. My stomach writhes. "You're beautiful, Tris." His whispered words tickle my lips. He smells like mint and fresh leather. "You're an idiot to think otherwise."

My mouth parts slightly. "I'm not-"

He closes the space between us instantly. His lips are soft and warm on mine. He pulls my body closer with his hand on my waist. This feels different than before. This is slow. This is patient. This is a wanting that I have never felt. His tongue slips into my mouth. I wrap my arm around his neck and pull him down on top of me. He groan. I feel chills everywhere. They are on my knees and prickling up to my shoulders. He slides his hands down my waist and presses his fingers into my bare legs. I have never been so relieved that I shaved them.

I don't know what comes over me, maybe it's his hips straddling mine or maybe it's my desire for him, but I slowly pull off my shirt. The air is cold. His body is hot.

His eyes roam over the scars on my stomach and legs. Some of them are bruises that will never fade. I have a sudden urge to cover myself up. "I have them, too." He whispers.

He slides his shirt off his shoulders and faces the other way. I inhale. Large scars cover his entire back. I run my fingers over one instinctively. "Who…" I utter.

He faces me again. "When I told you my dad was an asshole, I might have minimized a bit."

I meet his eyes. They are dark in the low light, almost black. "I don't know what to say…"

He grins at me, handing me my shirt. "Then don't say anything. I've never actually seen the ending of this movie."

I smile to myself, biting my lip. He hands me another piece of pizza and pulls me closer to him. I fall asleep with my head on his chest.

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><p><strong>ayyyeee follow me on tumblr divergentdauntlesscake <strong>

**PLEASE REVEIW THOUGH PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

**-RILEY**


	8. Chapter 8

**hello my favorite people of all time *grins widely***

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><p>Its lunchtime on a Friday afternoon and I'm sitting across from Christina at some pizza restaurant. She is trying to convince me to go to a party that some boy she likes is throwing. Regardless of my objection, she has been very stubborn.<p>

"Look, Tris," she says, sipping her drink. "I know you don't get out much, or… at all. But please. I really like this guy and what if he turns out to be a psycho rapist? I'm going to need you."

I laugh. "Fine. I'll go. But you owe me."

She claps her hands together with a grin, "Thank you! Maybe you could invite that got stalker kid that you kissed in the hallway last week?"

I roll my eyes. "He's not a stalker. And," I think. I guess I could. I haven't seen Four in a few days and it could be fun. "Yeah… I'll see if he wants too."

She gives me a knowing smile. I have come to really enjoy Christina's company. We small talk, we talk about the universe, we talk about fucked up politics, but we never talk about our personal lives. She isn't curious enough to wonder why I am closed off, and I am grateful. She is honest without being rude. She is kind without being sympathetic. I couldn't have asked for a better roommate.

"I'll get the check if you tip." I say, offering to pay for our meal.

She lays a few one-dollar bills down on the table while I lay down a twenty. We exit the room and walk back to our dorm.

A few hours later, I finished a paper for my writing class and when I look up, Christina is holding up a black dress. I smile. "That's pretty. It will look nice on you."

She laughs with a smirk. "I'm not wearing it."

I drop my shoulders in discontent. "I don't wear dresses. I wear jeans."

"Please, Tris? One night. Please?" Her brown eyes resemble a puppy begging for a bone.

"Fine." I whisper. "Fine. Let me call Four."

I dial his number and he picks up on the third ring. "Hello?"

I suddenly feel really nervous, like someone put a stone in my throat. "Hi."

He chuckles on the other line. It is a low rumble. "I was just about to call you, actually."

I bite my bottom lip "Really?"

I feel like I can hear his smile. My stomach is in knots. "Yeah." He says. "Uriah and his friend, Will, are throwing a party tonight. I want you to come with me."

"Hold on a second…" I lower the phone from my ear and tap Christina on the shoulder. "Whose party is this, again?"

"Will's. Why?"

I shake my head and bring the phone back up to my face. "I was just about to ask you the same question." I laugh at the irony.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." I whisper.

There is a long pause, the only sound being the static of the receiver. He eventually clears his throat. I picture him rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I wish he was here now. "So will you come with me?"

"Will you come with _me_?" I ask mockingly.

"I'll pick you up at seven, Tris." There is humor in his deep voice. Heat fills my cheeks.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I'll see you later." He says. His voice is breathless. I'm sure mine will be, too.

"Bye."

The line ends when I hit the red button on my screen. I don't know why a phone conversation makes the hairs on my arms stand tall and leave my stomach twisting, but it did. I decide I like the feeling. I take a look at Christina. She looks at me, like an older sister would. "You really like him, don't you?"

I look at my lap, face beet red. "He's um… yeah. I do."

* * *

><p>There's a knock on my door. My stomach hurls. I'm in the dress that Christina gave me. I don't know why, but I feel different. My hair is curled. There is mascara on my eyes. But that's not it, I realize. It's him. I'm so nervous my fingers are trembling.<p>

Reluctantly, I open the door. I look up at him. My throat is dry. "Hi."

His eyes scan over me. There is a smile on his lips. I rub my arm with the opposite hand uncomfortably. "Hey." He says.

I stare at the ground. Christina left thirty minutes before me; I could have changed. He takes my hand, slipping his fingers gracefully through mine. I bite my lip. "You look _really _good, Tris."

I exhale a breath that I didn't know I was holding. His compliment means more to me than he could know. "Thank you."

We walk out of the hallway and down the street. My entire body is hyperactive. I feel as though my skin cannot be more alive, until he runs a finger down my palm. I shiver. "You said you had a brother once," he says lowly. "What's he like?"

I press my lips into a firm line. I know he's trying to make easy conversation, but Caleb _isn't _easy conversation_. C'mon' Tris, trust him a little_. "He goes to Brown. We aren't really on the best of terms."

He bites the inside of his cheek. "Why?" he asks. Usually, when I give information this vague, he stops trying to get more out of me. I guess he actually wants to know.

I purse my lips. "Let's just say that when I told him about Peter, he thought that I was deserving." The memory of this brings a metallic taste to my mouth.

Four seems to understand. His eyebrows turn upward in the light of the fading sun. "Do you miss him?"

"Yeah, sometimes." I sigh. "He is my brother, after all. But I hate him."

"I know what you mean." I feel his eyes on me. I keep mine trained to the ground.

"Do you have any siblings?" I ask.

The corners of his mouth turn upward. "Fortunately, no."

"And that's a good thing?" I face him. His blue eyes are on mine in an instant.

"Yes. Or I hope so. I don't know…" he laughs nervously. "Can we talk about something else?"

I nod. We have made it to the door of the house, anyway. He doesn't knock but simply twist the knob and enters.

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW <strong>

**AND I JUST GOT LANA DEL REY CONCERT TICKETS IM SO EXCITED IM JUMPING AND SQEALING**

**-riley**


	9. Chapter 9

**not much happens in this chapter, but i love it sosososo much**

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><p>"Wait," Will says sitting across from me on the ground in the living room floor. His face holds a confused, puzzled expression. "I thought you were gay."<p>

Four looks at me with a humored face, awaiting an explanation. He has a beer in one hand and his arm is wrapped around my shoulder casually on the other. I try to pretend that it doesn't set me on edge.

I roll my eyes. "I told you that because I knew you were going to ask me out."

Everyone laughs in the circle. Will's cheeks turn a shade of pink, but he laughs along with them anyway.

"The circle" is a group of about ten people consisting of Four, Uriah, Zeke, Christina, Will, me, and three girls I have never met, Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn.

"Wait," Christina wears a tight smile, almost fake. Of course she doesn't like the idea of Will asking me out, I wouldn't either. "You two have met?"

Will kisses her forehead, almost to say '_Don't worry, I like you way more'_. "She's in my writing class."

She nods, giving me a glare. I lean my head into Four's shoulder to prove a point.

Uriah looks at Four's arm around me with a smirk. "Remember when you were opposed to hiring her?"

Four's eyes are on me. I can feel them burning into me with a magnetic pull. I look at my lap, embarrassed. His grasp on me tightens. There isn't an inch of space between us. "Remember when you were opposed to hiring _me_?" he asks.

I smile, cheeks warm. I know it isn't healthy, or normal, but I wish it were just Four and I in the room. He is softer when we are alone. Calmer. I wish I knew him better. I feel as though I know everything and nothing at all.

I feel the stubble of his chin brush against the side of my cheek. His lips are on my ear. "I'd could really use some coffee right now." His voice is a whisper. I shiver.

I turn my head so my nose touches his. I meet his eyes. They are dark. They are beautiful. "You know I hate coffee."

He gives a lopsided grin that shows his teeth. He must have had braces when he was little, because they are perfectly aligned. I struggle to picture Four in the awkward pre-teen faze; braces and pimples and baby fat. I smile at the thought of it.

"No," he murmurs. "I mean I want to be alone with you. Getting coffee or at your dorm or something. I'm not a big social person. We have that in common."

I look away shyly. My hair falls in my face. I tuck it behind my ear. I like being compared to him, even if it's a negative trait. He is a good person. I can feel it my gut, like a slow ache warming me.

When I look up to the group, they are gone. Well, they are sitting on the couch in front the T.V. I didn't realize how much he captivates me. It's kind of embarrassing. He stands, helping my by to my feet.

We walk to our friends and sit down in front of the couch, hopefully unnoticed. I know we aren't, though. I can feel their eyes on me. I don't even know what movie we're watching and I really don't care. All I can think about is how Four just pulled me into his lap and now my head is against his chest. I close my eyes. I can hear his heartbeat through his shirt. He runs his fingers through my hair.

"Hey Tris?" He whispers so lightly, I'm sure no one else can hear.

"Yes?" I ask. My voice is a breath. I grip his shirt in my palms. The cotton feels gentle on my skin.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" His hands continue through my hair with a slow, easy pace.

I look up at him, meeting his eyes. "No? Why would you ask that?" I suddenly remember how we met. He thinks i'm a cheater.

He smiles lazily. "Do you want one?" _Oh thank God._

I wrap my arms around his neck and straddle his waist. His hair is dark brown, almost black. It smells like mint. _He _smells like mint- that and something unassumingly masculine. I breathe it in. "Yes." I rasp.

He touches his lips to my forehead. My stomach turns, just like any other time he does that. "Good." He whispers against my temple. I bite my lip.

"Four?" I ask.

"Yes?'

I grin. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

His chest shakes in suppressed laughter. "No."

"Do you want one?"

Even though I can't see his face, I can imagine the smirk digging into his skin. "Yes."

"Good."

He hesitates for a second, as if he is unsure of his next movement. And then he smiles. "I'm about to make the worst joke ever."

I smile. "What?"

"It's not a joke, really, but here it goes." He clears his throat. "_I don't know if you feel the same as I do, but we could be together, if you wanted to." _He sings the song at a whisper and super off-key.

I laugh, feeling giddy. "That was horrible."

He rolls his eyes, a wide smirk planted on his face. "I thought you liked Artic Monkeys?"

"I like them when they sing it." He chuckles. My eyes meet his lips. I have a sudden ache, a wanting, in the bottom of my stomach for him. His mouth touches mine softly. I close my eyes. He pulls me closer with a hand on the small of my back. I wish we were closer. Instead I pull away, afraid of getting caught by our friends. "I'm about to make an even worse joke." I mutter.

"That's gonna be hard."

I smile lightly, "_I wanna be yours_."

He laces his fingers through mine. "Yeah," he says with a grin. "That was pretty bad. Great song, though."

"I know. My favorite on the album."

"Me too." He runs a hand down my arm gently.

I turn around so my back is against his chest. His rips expand and contract with every breath he takes. "Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to get out of here?" He asks.

I nod.

He stands, taking my hand like before. "We're gonna head out." Four says to the group, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Zeke rolls his eyes. "Its not like you guys were here anyway. I mean we didn't even play would you rather!"

Four smiles at him, flashing his teeth in the dark. "Sorry."

Christina looks at me with a grin. I return it. I feel bubbly, like I could touch the moon.

Four leads me out the door with his hand on my waist. I'm glad he can't see my face. I probably look like a lunatic with my bright eyes and giant smile.

When the door closes, he steps beside me. "Where are we going?" I ask.

He bites his lip. "We could go back to my place, if you want."

The hairs on the back of my neck stand. I know what he wants, and I am too terrified to give it to him. He's going to be so disappointed. "Okay." I croak.

He drapes an arm around my shoulders. I lean into him. He is solid, like a tree with roots set deep into the ground.

With shaking knees and sweaty palms, we walk to his house.

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><p><strong>Review! <strong>

**-Riley**


	10. Chapter 10

**This is basically a bunch of fluff and you know when your chest does that little "sbewwrasdfghjklgng" thing? yeah. here ya go..**

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><p>"Do you want something to drink?" He asks, closing the front door.<p>

I shake my head, wiping my palms on my dress. I'm so nervous. I haven't been over to a boy's house since junior year. I know what happens now. Even though this isn't technically Four's house (he shares it with like ten other guys) the same rules apply. You either have sex or he kicks you out.

"Tris are you okay?" He touches my cheek. "You're acting odd."

My stomach flips and I feel nauseous. The dress is starting to dig into my skin and my feet hurt from walking in these shoes. I want to go home. "I'm good." I flash him a fake, tight smile.

His eyes search mine. I know he can tell I'm not all right. He cups my cheek in his hand. "Tris…"

I push him away, touching my palms to my forehead. "I don't feel good." I sound like a child pleading to skip school. My voice is whiney. I wish I were taller. And stronger. Then I might have the courage to say no instead of making tired excuses.

"I can take you home. My car is in the driveway." He sounds concerned. I lean against the wall for balance. I'm about to have a panic attack. I know the signs; I've had plenty before. _Breathe, Tris._ I suck in air, but its not enough. I try again, but this time my chest collapses. My gasps are in tiny, flustered bursts. My back slides down the wall until I'm in a sitting position. Black spots line my vision. I can't breathe, I can't think, I don't know where I am. There are tears spilling down my cheeks and I'm vaguely aware that I'm screaming. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I push it away with a chaotic effort. My hearing is fuzzy; all I can hear is a loud ringing in my ears. I catch someone shouting my name, though. I look up with cloudy vision. The man touches both sides of my face with his large hands. I meet his eyes. They are a calming blue. I take another breath and this time, I gain my senses. I wipe the water off my cheeks with the heel of my hand.

I try to stand but my knees collapse from underneath me. I try again. "Can you take me home?" It comes out strained and shaky.

He clenches his jaw. "You're not alright, Tris. You need to sit down."

I make my way to the door. "I told you I'm fine. I'll just walk." I twist the knob. He grabs the inside of my elbow.

"You just had a panic attack. There's obviously something wrong!" His voice rises with each word. I flinch. He notices. "You can talk to me, you know." He whispers.

I furrow my eyebrows and take my hand off the doorknob. "Talk to you? What delusion are you operating under? All I know about you is that your mom is dead and your dad beat you up! For god's sake, I don't even know your real name!"

"Tris…" He bites the inside of his cheek. I know what he's thinking: The only thing he knows about me is that my ex-boyfriend beat me up and my parents are dead. We are very similar, in a way.

"I'm going home." I say, opening the door.

"Why do you always run away?" He shouts after me. "You always run!"

I've never opened up to anyone, ever. I feel water clouding my vision. "It's the only thing I know how to do." I choke out. _Don't cry. For once in your life Tris Prior can you just stop crying?_  
>I look at the floor. There is silence for a long time. I look up when his arms are around me tightly. I stay still, not responding to the embrace. He is warm and strong and lithe and certain. He is everything I want to be. I wrap my arms around his waist. He runs a hand through my hair and I can't take it anymore. I let out a loud sob. His chest muffles it and I do it again and again and again. There are hot tears sliding down my cheeks and his shirt absorbs them.<p>

He pulls away, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. "My real name is Tobias."

I laugh a little and close my eyes.

He touches his forehead to mine. "And I hate tomatoes but I like ketchup. I played soccer for the first ten years of my life but hated every minute of it. I went to Lake view High School. I have never had a girlfriend before. I'm really good with computers. I went through an emo phase in middle school where I wore black eyeliner. I have a weird obsession with Harry Potter. I wake up everyday hoping a truck hits my father. I like frozen yogurt more than ice cream." He pauses, looking at me in the eye. "And I really, _really_ like you."

My fingers are still trembling but I manage to touch his neck and pull his lips to mine carefully.

"Oh!" he exclaims, his mouth brushing mine. "I've known Zeke since the second grade. He's the one who gave me the nickname. It was four eyes, because I had glasses, but he thought that was overused."

I laugh. It is a light sound, unusual coming from my mouth. I like the feeling it brings, though. I like the feeling _he _brings; warm and full and giddy. I wish I felt like this all the time.

"Would you look at that?" He grins at me. "She can smile!"

I roll my eyes and smack his arm with the back of my hand. "Alright, Four, you can take me home now."

He frowns. "I told you my name is Tobias."

"So you want me to call you that?" I ask. "I just assumed- "

He touches my cheek. "Call me Tobias, it's nice to hear my name again."

I nod. "Okay, _Tobias_, can you take me home?"

"I lied about having a car. It's Zeke's. But we can still use it."

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><p><strong>So i'm re-reading insurgent for like the sixth time and i realized how annoying Tris's PTSD is. <strong>

**OHHH DOES ANYONE WATCH THE 100 BC IF YOU DO PM ME BC FBURNIGOFGRHTQNJHG**

**Review!**

**-Riley**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter turned out to be twice as long as my usual ones lol**

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><p>"What do you mean you didn't have sex?" Christina shouts at me. "Isn't that why you guys left early?"<p>

It's been two days since Will's party. I wish I could go back and redo the entire night. I shrug. "I don't know. I guess…" The thought of explaining everything to her just exhausts me even further.

She smiles. "Are you dating yet?"

"I don't know. I guess…" I repeat, monotone. "How are things with Will?"

Her skin is so dark with the summer's tan; I wouldn't have noticed the red blush on her cheeks if I weren't sitting so close. "It's good. We're good. He's coming over in like five minutes, actually.

"Oh." I say. "I have homework to work on. So, I'll see you later… I guess. If you need me, just call. I'll be in the library by the gym."

She gives me a look. "Tris, you don't have to…" I know she wants to be polite, but you can see in the way her mouth turns upward that she's pleased I'm leaving.

I shrug and throw on my boots. "Its fine! Have fun." I wiggle my eyebrows and walk out the door.

As I make my way out of the dorm, I decide I don't want to stay inside. It's a beautiful day. The last wave of the summer's heat is over and the chill of fall is coming. It's nice to not break a sweat every time I step outside. I spot a large tree and sit down underneath it, taking out my calculus notebook. I stare at it for about five minutes, completely confused. I bite my lip_. I have no idea how to do this_. I hear someone clear their throat and I look up. Tobias stands over me, his head blocking the sun from my eyes. I smile tightly, still stressed with the homework issue. "Hi."

"Hey." He says. "Can I sit?"

I nod, cheeks red. Plopping down in front of me, he meets my eyes. I saw him yesterday at work, but Zeke is in a fight with his girlfriend, Shauna, and Tobias was dealing with them so I barely spoke to him. "What are you working on?" he asks, eyeing the paper spread out over the ground.

I groan. "Calculus. I have no idea where to even start."

He smirks. "Only if you knew someone who passed calculus with a 98 average to tutor you."

I roll my eyes at him. "There is no way you made an A in this class. Its _impossible_."

He grins, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. "Oh, but I did. Senior year of high school."

I grab my notebook and throw it in his lap. "Then help me!"

He chuckles, talking the paper in his hands. He makes a few marks and scoots closer to me, his hip even with mine. My stomach drops with his sensation. "Just solve the equations like you would any other. Balance out the sides until you get Y by itself."

I look up at him. His jaw is relaxed and there isn't a crease between his eyebrows like there normally would be. For the first time, I am seeing his youth. I am seeing his natural state. He is beautiful without trying. But I have been staring too long. He looks back at me, dark eyes certain. "What?"

I shrug, trying to hide my blushing cheeks. "Some of us need help locating 'Y' considering the entire alphabet is in the problem."

He laughs. "Did you just make a_ joke_, Tris?"

"Sort of." I grin. "But it's true. Lets count how many letters are in this. See we've got x, y, a, b, r, q…" I pause when his hand touches my knee. Shuddering when he rubs circles on my skin. His palm is warm and callused and I have to bite my lip from exhaling. Swallowing thickly, I continue, "…and t and c."

"So just take away everything that isn't Y," he says as if he doesn't know there isn't a warm ache running through my veins.

I nod like I understand. But really I can't think. There is a buzzing in my ears and a shudder in my toes. His hand slides up and down my thigh. I look up at him. His eyes are already on me. They are a strange color, a deep blue that resembles the ocean at twilight. They take me to places I have only dreamed of. "Do you have a textbook?" he asks. His mouth is so close to mine that his breathes tickles my skin. I turn around and reach into my bag. Pulling it out, I hand it to him. "I don't want to work on my homework anymore, though."

He quirks an eyebrow, "No?"

I shake my head, grinning at him.

"Okay." He smiles lazily. "I would take you out or something, but I'm tired of that coffee place and I'm drowning in student loans."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "So don't take me anywhere."

"We could go to your place?" he suggest. I guess he is wary of going to his because of the other night. My stomach drops. I've ruined everything with my immature tantrum.

I roll my eyes. "I mean we can… if you want to walk in on Christina and Will having sex."

He laughs, ribs shaking slightly. "So what about mine? I know Zeke and Uriah are working and Will isn't there, so it's probably just some guy, Eric."

I nod, relieved. "Okay." Throwing my things in my bag, he takes my hand and pulls me off the ground.

We walk back to the house together. I swallow my embarrassment of remembering my breakdown here the other night. Just thinking about it makes cringe. He is already two years older than me and there is an unspoken role of dominance in his half of this relationship, or… whatever this is. He is confident. I am not. He knows what he wants. I do not.

He opens the door, guiding me inside with a hand on the small of my back. I take a look around. The kitchen is a wreck. Dirty dishes rest unwashed in the sink and there are empty boxes of pizza and Chinese takeout scattered on the floor. I look away before I make a face. "Sorry." He whispers in my ear, leading me further into the house, "I try to keep it clean, I really do, but I live with like seven other guys."

I smile at him, the uneasy feeling of him being a slob disappearing. Peter was untidy and gross and it repulsed me. I walk into the living room with him. Tobias introduces me to a black haired guy that has several piercings in his eyebrows. I cringe. "Tris," he says tensely, "This is Eric."

"Hi."

His eyes scan over me. I feel a chill, like ice in my veins. I look at the floor. I don't want Eric to look at me ever again. "Don't be too loud up there, I'm watching TV."

Tobias tenses, giving him a nasty glare. I clench my fist at my sides. "C'mon, Tris." He steers me away from Eric and we climb the stairs together. I turn into the first room on the right. He looks around awkwardly. I do too. "I've never brought a girl in here before." He says, scratching the back of his neck.

I bite my lip to contain a grin. "Really?" my voice is hopeful, lively.

He smiles at me, sitting down on the bed. "I mean there was this girl last year that I brought over sometimes, but she never came past the living room couch." I meet his eyes. I feel something ignite inside me at the thought of him bringing another girl to meet his friends. "I'm sorry. You probably don't want to hear about my ex- whatevers."

I shake my head, walking towards him. "It's okay. I bring up Peter all the time; you should be able to talk about your ex's. You should be able to talk about anything you want."

His hand touches my hip and I suck in a breath. We are the same height in this moment, since he is sitting down. I want nothing more to close the space between us, but I am not one to prompt things like that. "Yeah," he whispers against my cheek. "But Peter's different."

I swallow. I hate talking about Peter, but somehow he always becomes the topic of conversation. "Yeah."

Tobias pulls on the belt loops of my shorts to bring me closer. I wrap my arms around his neck. _Tobias. _I smile at his name. I feel as though the more I get to know him, the more it fits. "I didn't tell you the other night, that I like your name."

"You and Zeke are the only people who know it…besides my dad." He moves his hands to cup my face and connects our lips. I close my eyes, kissing him back with a desperate ache in my stomach. "What's your full name?" he asks me.

I scrunch up my nose in distaste, "I hate it."

He kisses my collarbone. I lick my lips. "Please?" he begs against my shoulder.

"Beatrice." I murmur. I swallow down the lump in my throat. I haven't heard that name since I was fifteen years old.

"You do don't look like a Beatrice." He says, combing is hand through my hair.

I tilt my head to the side quizzically, "What do I look like then?"

He smiles and pulls us down so I'm lying on top of him. I can feel his heartbeat in his chest. "Um… a Janet."

I laugh, "_Janet_?"

He cups my face in his palms, a large grin on his lips. "I'm kidding. You look like a Tris."

I smile, running my thumb gently across his lower lip. He squeezes my hips slightly and touches his mouth to mine. I close my eyes, dismissing the nerves in my stomach by pulling him closer to me. He flips us over so his chest is on top of mine. _He feels so strong. _I laugh and pull away, "How often to you work out?"

He rolls off of me, kissing my temple with a chuckle. "Like… everyday."

I sit up, scooting back so my spine rests on his headboard. "I can tell."

He sits with his legs hanging over the side of the bed. There is black ink curling around the side of his neck. "Did you get a tattoo?" I ask him.

He faces me. "I did."

I bite my lip. "Can I see it?"

He smiles at me. He hasn't shaved in a few days so the stubble on his chin has turned into scruff. And his skin is bronze from the summers tan. He looks like a movie star and my fourteen-year-old self would high five us for being able to have him. "Are you asking me to undress, Tris?"

I nod. "Definitely."

He laughs nervously, sliding the shirt off his shoulders. Facing the wall, he sits down in front of me.

I touch the top of his spine, where a symbol of fire is incased by a circle. I run my hand down to the next one, two hands gripped together, the third, equal scales, then an eye, and the fifth, a tree. "What do they…" I start. It's so incredible I'm at a lost for words. "What do they mean?"

He faces me. "Different things." He mumbles. "The top one is to be courageous. And the hands are to be self-sacrificing. The scales are to be truthful. The eye is to be intelligent. And the tree is to be kind." He clears his throat, finally meeting my eyes. "I think that those are the things that make up a person. So if I am all of them, I am the best person I can be."

"Its amazing." I breathe, sliding my hand over his chest and to his back, where I think the fire symbol lies.

He touches my cheek, skimming the jawbone with his deft fingers. "Thank you."

I smile tightly. "I've always wanted a tattoo, but if my mom was somehow watching me, she'd flip."

"I know this lady that does tattoos," He says, "and she has one that honors her dead brother. I was reserved about getting mine at first, but she explained that it's a way to carry the message or the person you want with you, all the time."

_'__That's beautiful' _is what I want to say, and I don't know why I don't. But instead, I just nod, fumbling with the hem of my shirt.

He doesn't say anything for a while. He just sits beside me and combs my hair into his fingers. I'm about to fall asleep when he clears his throat anxiously. "Are we dating?"

I bite my lip_. I seriously hope we are because I've only known you for a month and I think I might be falling in love with you_. "Do you want to be?" I whisper quietly.

"Yes."

I tighten my grip on his shirt. "I want to be."

He smiles at me, "Okay, then."

I smile too, fitting my mouth to his.

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><p><strong>So what do you guys think of me doing Tobias's POV as well. The next chapter i really want too, but i won't if you like Tris POV...<strong>

**Please tell me what you think your reviews are _everything_**

**-Riley**


	12. Chapter 12

**I really hope you guys like Tobias POV**

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><p><strong>(Tobias POV)<strong>

"Four!" I'm hit with a smack to face with a pillow. "Wake up."

I groan, folding the pillow over my ears. "Zeke, _it's Saturday_."

I hear his steps at the foot of my bed. "Look man, I need some help down at the station and I don't know where Uriah is. And it's also _three thirty in the afternoon_."

In one quick motion, the comforter is ripped from me and thrown to the ground. "Jesus Christ." I say, rubbing my eyes. "What do you need help with anyway?"

He grins, teeth bright. "There's a music festival coming sometime early next year. I need _you_ to get our satellite hooked up to it and while _I_ to talk to the people about the rights and stuff. Tris should be there to help you later." He winks at me. "And I also need you to put on some clothes, not everyone wants to see you in you in your boxers."

I roll my eyes. "Yes mom."

"Well, speaking of…" he starts, slowly walking to the door. "Everyone except Tris. "

I laugh, throwing my pillow at him. "Get out."

"_Yes mom_."

He closes the door and I roll off my bed, putting on jeans and a t-shirt. Walking downstairs and out the front door, I slowly, and subconsciously, make my way to Tris' dorm. It isn't until I'm knocking on her door that I realize that she probably isn't even here. _It's the middle of the day, Tobias._

But the door opens, and Tris is there in a big t-shirt. That's it. _That's fucking all. _Her legs glow with the summer's tan and one of the sleeves is hanging off her shoulder._ Fucking god._

She clears her throat nervously and I look away. "Um. It's like nine o' clock in the morning, Tobias." She rasps. "What are you doing here?"

I smile at her. "Tris, it's four in the afternoon."

Her eyes go wide. "Holy shit, I have work today." And then she follows my gaze to her legs. She tenses, trying to pull the shirt down. "I uh. I need to go change. Hold on."

I scratch the back of my neck nervously. "Yeah."

She closes the door abruptly. _Jesus fucking Christ. _

A few minutes later she emerges in jeans and sweatshirt. I meet her eyes quickly. "Hi." she whispers.

It feels like something is caught in my throat. I have an urge to kiss her all the time and it doesn't ever go away. "Hey."

There is a pink tint to her cheeks but she smiles up at me. "Is there a reason you're at my dorm? Or do you normally grace girls with your presence while they're trying to sleep?"

I laugh a little, touching my hand to the small of her back and leading her down the hallway. "It's a habit I can't seem to give up."

She shivers slightly at my touch. "But really. I mean I'm totally grateful you _are_ here; I would've been late for work. But it was unexpected… obviously."

Sliding an arm around her shoulders when we exit the building, she leans into me. "Zeke told me you had work too, so I'd thought I'd pick you up. I guess I should've called."

She bites her lip. "He seemed really irritated when I talked to him yesterday. Zeke I mean."

When we reach the station she opens the door and walks in. I follow. "I think we're gonna be really busy soon. He told me there's a music festival coming next year. That's why you're working on a Saturday."

She rolls her eyes, roaming through one of the shelves of vinyls. I smile and look through the records with her. She pulls one out. "I hate them."

I look at it. It's The Neighborhood: _I Love You._ I stare at her in shock. "_What_?"

"Wait, you _like _them?" she laughs. "Why?"

I take the vinyl from her. "Have you even heard their music?"

She smirks. "I listened to Sweater Weather but it was stupid and annoying."

"I cannot believe you. Tris Prior, sweater weather _is_ stupid and annoying."

She raises her hands in surrender. "Play something, then."

I put the album in and start from track eight. She leans back on the shelf and smiles at me.

_She planned ahead for a year_

_He said, "Let's play it by ear"_

I take a step toward her as it continues to play. Touching her hips with my palms, I hear her inhale.

_Nobody said it'd be easy_

_They knew it was rough, but tough luck_

She bites her lip and wraps her arms around my neck. I feel her everywhere.

_I fell in love today_

I meet her eyes, they are gray and vibrant and striking. Uriah thinks she looks young for her age, but if you pay attention, you cannot mistake the maturity she has. I touch my thumb to her cheek.

_She's enough for me_

_'__Cause she's in love with me_

I pull her closer as the corners of her mouth tug upward. She rests her chin on my chest and starts to sway in rhythm.

_The only flaw - you are flawless_

_But I just can't wait for love to destroy us_

She closes her eyes, gripping my jacket sleeve. I kiss the top of her head.

_Tangled between your little flaws_

_Your flaws, your flaws, your flaws_

In one swift motion, she lifts her head and touches her lips to mine. I close my eyes and wrap her legs around my waist. Her hands move to my hair and grip the strands behind my ear. Goosebumps rise on my arms.

_Wait for love_

I pull her away from the shelf and press her back against the wall. She sighs against my ear. As soon as my hand slips underneath her shirt, the bell chimes at the entrance door. "This isn't connecting the satellite, Four."

Tris pushes me away hastily and lands on her feet as I let her go. Her cheeks are flushed. I'm sure mine are, too. "Zeke –" I start.

He shakes his head, grinning at me. "Just…" he laughs. "God I wish Uri was here. This is equally disgusting and hilarious."

I press my hands to my forehead. Tris lets out a light laugh beside me. "I'm gonna...yeah." She grabs her jacket and waves to the both of us before leaving quietly.

"Zeke." I say. "I'm not talking about this."

"Okay, then listen." He smirks. "Would you be grossed out if I told you I watched the whole thing through the window?"

"I'm leaving."

He chuckles, the famous Pedrad family grin that takes me back to grade school and I know no matter how hard I try, I can't be angry with him. It's Zeke for god's sake. "You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah." I whisper. _You have no idea._

"So anyway, I talked to the guys that are hosting the festival and they said that it's going to be amazing. Like they have bands coming in from England and shit."

I raise my eyebrows, "Really?"

He claps my shoulder with his hand. "That's why I'm telling you this. I know that Tris is really into the kind of music that's coming, and tickets go on sale next week."

"Zeke, I'm broke. You know that."

"You didn't let me finish!" he says. "I know you're broke. Listen, the guy was going to let me have two free tickets just for the hell of it, but I'm gonna give them to you."

I shake my head. "No."

"Four, I'm serious." He looks me in eye, a rare, stern expression that I have only witnessed few times of knowing him. "Give them to her for Christmas or something. It's coming up in like three months, you know."

"Okay." I say. I do really want them. And Zeke's mom is loaded, despite being single. He could buy his own without burning a hole in his wallet. "Fine."

"If you fix the satellite, you can leave. Uriah is meeting me at The Pit later for a few drinks if you want to come."

I nod, heading to the back of the room. 'The Pit' is a bar that we've been going to since senior year of high school. They don't care if your underage as long as you don't act like an idiot so we've practically made it hour usual hang out. I'm turning twenty-one soon anyway. "I'll come."

He smiles again, "Okay, I'm heading out. See you later."

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><p><strong>THE DRESS IS FUCKING BLUE AND GOLD I DONT UNDERSTAND<strong>

**R&R&R&R**

**-riley**


	13. Chapter 13

**back to Tris POV but i think i'm gonna switch every chapter. OH AND MAJOR TIME SKIP ALL THE WAY TO HALLOWEEN **

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><p><strong>(Tris POV)<strong>

The rest of October flew by, and before I knew it, it was the day before Halloween. Christina and I are standing in a costume store trying to pick an outfit for Tobias' party tomorrow. "What about this?" she asks me, holding up a slutty doctor dress.

I roll my eyes, "That's a funny joke."

She puts it back on the rack, mumbling something along the lines of "You're such a prude."

I smile and pick out a 1970's suit and show it to her. She cringes. "Gross. And I have my costume, Will and I are being Mario and Luigi." She grins. "Why aren't you matching with Four?"

I shrug, "We didn't really talk about it." I lie. We _did_ talk about it, but I have always thought that matching costumes are stupid. Apparently, so does Tobias.

"I like this one." She says, holding up a red 1920's flapper dress.

I smile. "I do, too." She gives it to me along with the feather headband and we walk to the register together.

When I pay and we go to her car (that she can somehow afford to keep on campus) we head back to our dorm. "I heard this party is supposed to be huge." Christina says, unlocking our door. "Last year, Will told me, there were like thirty people passed out in the front yard the next morning. I'm so excited!"

I bite my lower lip. I hate parties in general, but Halloween-pass-out-drunk-with-hundreds-of-people is _extremely_ overwhelming. And I've seen Tobias around large groups of people. He's amazing and outgoing and the center of attention once you get a beer in his hand. I'm scared that my little introvert self won't be able to keep up.

"I'm doing your make-up, by the way. And hair." She says.

I nod encouragingly. I honestly love when Christina does stuff like this. My mom died before I ever needed make-up. I had to teach it to myself. "I'm horrible at it, so please do your magic."

She smiles, "Make-up isn't magic, but it's the closest thing to it."

The next afternoon, Christina is finished with upgrading my face. I look in the mirror. "Holy shit, Chris."

She grins. "Do you like it?"

My eyes look bold, the black eyeliner turning the stormy gray into a vibrant blue. She put red lipstick on my mouth to match the dress. And my hair, she curled it in rings over my shoulders and down to my back. "Its not the typical 1920's bob," she says, fluffing it. "But it looks gorgeous nonetheless."

"I love it, Christina. Thank you." Slipping on my heels and grabbing my purse, we walk out the door and to Tobias' house (And Will's, Zekes, Uriah's, Eric's, and Al's).

It's dark when we finally get there. I check my phone. "It's already 8:00? How long did it take to get ready?"

She rolls her eyes, "Tris, you were a piece of work. It took three hours."

I laugh. "Oh."

When we reach the front door, Christina doesn't even knock. I don't blame her though; nobody would be able to hear it over the pounding music. So we walk right in.

_Holy Shit. _Everything is in full swing. There are at least fifty people in the living room alone. And it's so loud I can barely hear myself think. My first instinct is to text Tobias and try to find him, but Christina has my hand and is dragging me to get a drink before I can even take out my phone. "You look really… stiff." She yells in my ear. I'm surprised I heard her, the music is making my head pound.

I take the red cup and sip. It taste so much better than the last time, and I end up getting a second after just a few minutes. When I turn around from the keg, Christina is walking away with Will. I sigh, taking in another swallow of my drink.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's Eric in a Mr. Incredible costume. The palms of my hands begin to sweat. "Hey, it's Tris, right?"

I nod quickly. I've only talked to the guy once and he's filling me with the same dread that Peter does. He looks like a teenage Snape from Harry Potter. The greasy back hair and then menacing expression is almost identical to the one I pictured in my childhood.

"I think Four is looking for you." He smiles. A chill goes up my spine.

"Where is he?" I ask. Eric's expression is comical, almost like he's kidding with me.

He takes my beer from me and chugs it. "Back porch."

I glare at him before turning away. Pushing through the crowd of sweaty drunks, I reach the door that leads to the porch. I open it with trembling fingers. I don't want other people to be out here. _Please._

The cold air is like a smack in the face. Well that and the smell of cigarette smoke. I turn to the scent. Tobias is leaning against the railing beside Zeke. They both have smokes in their hand. I swallow down my rage.

"Tris!" Tobias slurs. "I've been looking for you!"

He's drunk, too. I bite my lip. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I snatch the cigarette out of his hand and throw it over the railing.

"Whoa…" he frowns. "I wasn't done with that!" I don't like him like this. It's a feeling that I can't describe. My stomach flips with the thought of a drunken boy and the uncertainty they bring.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, mainly to myself. I clear my throat. "Tobias, what are smoking a cigarette for?"

He laughs, the alcohol in his breath spreading everywhere. "It feels so gooooood, Tris."

I stiffen. I _hate_ him like this. The only feeling I have is anger until he leans over and vomits, nearly hitting my shoes.

"Tobias you need to come upstairs." I pull on his arm.

He smirks, leaning his head back and facing Zeke. "I'm getting laid tonight, man."

Zeke frowns and I release Tobias, stepping away from him. He falls on the wood underneath us. "You know what, clean up your own vomit."

I try to walk away but Zeke grabs my arm. "He needs you right now. He doesn't know what he's saying. Take him upstairs and put him in his bed. He'll be passed out before you can even turn off the light."

I nod. "Why don't you do it?"

He smiles, "I can tell you're not having fun. I need to find Shauna, anyway." His grip tightens on my arm. "You're good for him, you know that right?"

I pinch my lips together. "I don't-"

"You are." He meets my eyes. "Trust me. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to him. Besides me of course."

I laugh a little, picking Tobias up off the ground and draping his arm over my shoulder. "I'll see you Monday. And stop smoking. It's like cancer on a stick."

He lights another cigarette, "You got it."

I turn with Tobias with me, practicality crushed under his weight. He kisses my cheek multiple times, slobbering on my skin. "You look really pretty, Tris." His voice smears. I smile and open the door.

The music is just as loud as it was five minutes ago. I wrestle through the crowd and somehow make it to the stairs. It's people-free and I easily walk Tobias up. When we turn the corner to his room, there's a couple in their underwear making out on top of his comforter. "Get out!" I yell. I'm literally so done with everything at this point. They scurry to put their clothes on and run out of the room.

Tobias laughs, sprawling to his bed. He collapses on top of the pillows with a grunt. I move the trashcan from his desk and put it beside the nightstand. When I'm sure he's just going to stay like that, I head to the bathroom and fill up a glass of water. I walk back and set it beside the bed. "I'm gonna go home." I whisper, unsure if he's even awake. "I'll be back over tomorrow, okay?"

He flips to lie on his back. "No Tris," he sings. " Do you know that song…? STAY WITH MEEE!"

I raise my eyebrows. He smiles. I know he's drunk, and he was smoking a cigarette not ten minutes ago, but longing runs through me like fire in my core. I like him _so_ much. "You want me to?"

He nods. "Just… let me change." I say.

I look over at him, but he's passed out. I rummage through his closet until I find a large t-shirt and throw it on after stripping everything off. When I climb in bed with him, he's smiling at me. A huge, lazy Tobias smile. He faces me by lying on his side. "You're so fucking sexy, Tris." He whispers, the alcohol in his breath meeting my nose.

My cheeks flush and I look at the quilt on top of us. "Do you smoke a lot?" I ask him.

"Not really," he runs a hand down the slight curve of my hip. "It's kind of gross." I can hear the alcohol draining out of his system.

"Don't do it anymore." I murmur. He grips my hips. I close my eyes.

He shifts beside me in a sudden motion, grabbing the wastebasket I laid beside the bed. He hurls, spilling the contents of the last few hours out of his mouth. I sit up and scratch his back. "Fuck, that's gross." He whispers. "I'm never drinking again. Ever."

I laugh, "Okay."

"And Tris," he says, facing me, "I'm sorry."

I touch his arm, squeezing his bicep. "It's okay."

"I'm about to pass out, so let's sleep." He says, laying down and pulling me to his chest. I bite my lip, trying to close my eyes. But I have never been more awake.

* * *

><p><strong>GUYS:<strong>

**PLEASE _REVIEW_ I NEED YOU TOO PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

**-Riley**


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